Roadrunner_United
01-31-2007, 03:08 PM
This is kind of an OR with an important message.
I've spoken of this before: This little OR is a very good, recent example of this principle.
Any one who knows a little chess, knows that many times, you can use the enemy's own moves to further develop (spread out, control more of the board) your own pieces. Especially if he is a newcomer, anxious to put you in check, when all you have to do to stop it is move a pawn forward, moving your own pieces forward and moving him back.
You use anything he does as your own opportunity.
In the social world, there isn't always an enemy per se (although some people are obnoxious AMOGs, and the wrong attitude towards a comment might make you look like a person being attacked in retrospect).
However, the principle still stands: Use ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as an OPPORTUNITY.
In order to do this effectively, though, you need to be an open minded person, with a good quantity and quality of knowledge - if you watched lots of good movies, read some books, saw some good stand up comedy, and also developed your own sense for these things, you will always have a good answer for anything, that will make you look good.
The OR goes like this:
I was at a local bar (Mike's Place), at open-mike night, where anyone can get up and sing. I'm a popular regular there, but there are always new crowds every week.
This week there were some very funny, outgoing, and loud (not in the bad sense, just loud group of american tourists. They were a fun group, they cheered everyone very loud, and made funny comments.
As I get up on stage, they do the "warm-up" cheer, etc, I ask everyone in my usual radio-voice "how y'all doin? ready to rock this joint?" (which the crowd always likes).
Then, one of the group shouts, very loudly "I like your hair!", so everyone in the bar hears it.
[I recently started going totally clean-shaven (bald by choice you might say. When I'm all pumped up I look like Vin Diesel . Incidentally I also had enough of using Minoxidyl. I can get girls with any hairstyle or total lack of hair, so who cares]
Anyway, notice that this particular comment by this particular person was not meant to offend, HOWEVER notice that this [person / his purpose] doesn't matter. First, he can mean any of several things. Second, people from the outside might interpret it differently. Third, the wrong attitude by you, can, and sometimes will, give a new, worse meaning to the scenario.
All this shouldnt matter to the witty person, who uses ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as an opportunity.
This is where watching movies, having broad knowledge, etc, comes in. It's good to have your own sense, it's also good to use pop-culture responses at the tight time in the right place. Same outcome.
I remembered a line I saw once in "Married with Children":
"A bald head - says better in bed!" Any follower of the series will recall this.
So in my radio voice, and with a big smile, I said exactly that into the mike.
The uproar of cheers was almost unbelievable, the girls were all giggled up (as in, open to suggestions... , and after I went on to sing 3 hit songs, I established myself as the star of the evening, even earning an invite to a glass of wine from the tourist table.
Many people could react in many ways to such a comment [about the hair]. Thing is, there's always some reply by you that will make you look good, REGARDLESS of the original comment-makers' intentions. In my case, it was just a fun but smart-ass comment from a fun group, that had a danger of being misinterpreted, especially if I reacted in the wrong manner [say, with insecurity]. Other times, this comment IS used in an offensive manner.
All this shouldn't matter to you, if you know how to react, and understand the important principle of seeing anything and everything as your own opportunity to "develop your chess pieces" and establish yourself as the center of the party.
Sumup:
*See ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as an opportunity.
*Original intentions [of commentators] don't matter much - the outcome YOU steer towards does.
*In order to do this, it helps to have a broad knowledge, sense of humor, having read stuff, watched movies, watched stand up comedy, etc.
*After having enough kowledge you will start developing your OWN sense of things (as happenes with almost every skill), and be able to come up with good, witty responses, on the spot.
*This principle applies not only to verbal responses, but to anything, any situation. Always think "how can I use this to MY advantage". You'd be surprised, for example, how some things with girls that people regard as hurdles, are actually yourt opportunities. My fave example: "Where is this [our relationship] going?" Many men don't know how to respond to this question, however, some experienced PUA's here, including me, have related about how we used this as an opportunity to go into some variation of a "flow" routine ("I like to meet a girl and see where it's going... don't believe in tags..."), usually to the effect of having the girl go DDB. In my case, this isn't some routine, but really how I feel - I like to meet a girl and see where it leads, I can't know this in advance, romance has many twists and turns, we're two people enjoying each other's company, etc.
Another common example would be the "sudden quiet" you would have when you go on a date, talk with the girl, then you suddenly stop talking and just look at each other. Some people think something is wrong here, that they should quickly look for something to talk about, or some such insecure response. Some people, on the other hand, recognize the tention, and know where to channel it... looking at each other, getting closer, saying something about the eyes... looking at the lips, looking back at her eyes... you see where this is going?
I've spoken of this before: This little OR is a very good, recent example of this principle.
Any one who knows a little chess, knows that many times, you can use the enemy's own moves to further develop (spread out, control more of the board) your own pieces. Especially if he is a newcomer, anxious to put you in check, when all you have to do to stop it is move a pawn forward, moving your own pieces forward and moving him back.
You use anything he does as your own opportunity.
In the social world, there isn't always an enemy per se (although some people are obnoxious AMOGs, and the wrong attitude towards a comment might make you look like a person being attacked in retrospect).
However, the principle still stands: Use ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as an OPPORTUNITY.
In order to do this effectively, though, you need to be an open minded person, with a good quantity and quality of knowledge - if you watched lots of good movies, read some books, saw some good stand up comedy, and also developed your own sense for these things, you will always have a good answer for anything, that will make you look good.
The OR goes like this:
I was at a local bar (Mike's Place), at open-mike night, where anyone can get up and sing. I'm a popular regular there, but there are always new crowds every week.
This week there were some very funny, outgoing, and loud (not in the bad sense, just loud group of american tourists. They were a fun group, they cheered everyone very loud, and made funny comments.
As I get up on stage, they do the "warm-up" cheer, etc, I ask everyone in my usual radio-voice "how y'all doin? ready to rock this joint?" (which the crowd always likes).
Then, one of the group shouts, very loudly "I like your hair!", so everyone in the bar hears it.
[I recently started going totally clean-shaven (bald by choice you might say. When I'm all pumped up I look like Vin Diesel . Incidentally I also had enough of using Minoxidyl. I can get girls with any hairstyle or total lack of hair, so who cares]
Anyway, notice that this particular comment by this particular person was not meant to offend, HOWEVER notice that this [person / his purpose] doesn't matter. First, he can mean any of several things. Second, people from the outside might interpret it differently. Third, the wrong attitude by you, can, and sometimes will, give a new, worse meaning to the scenario.
All this shouldnt matter to the witty person, who uses ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as an opportunity.
This is where watching movies, having broad knowledge, etc, comes in. It's good to have your own sense, it's also good to use pop-culture responses at the tight time in the right place. Same outcome.
I remembered a line I saw once in "Married with Children":
"A bald head - says better in bed!" Any follower of the series will recall this.
So in my radio voice, and with a big smile, I said exactly that into the mike.
The uproar of cheers was almost unbelievable, the girls were all giggled up (as in, open to suggestions... , and after I went on to sing 3 hit songs, I established myself as the star of the evening, even earning an invite to a glass of wine from the tourist table.
Many people could react in many ways to such a comment [about the hair]. Thing is, there's always some reply by you that will make you look good, REGARDLESS of the original comment-makers' intentions. In my case, it was just a fun but smart-ass comment from a fun group, that had a danger of being misinterpreted, especially if I reacted in the wrong manner [say, with insecurity]. Other times, this comment IS used in an offensive manner.
All this shouldn't matter to you, if you know how to react, and understand the important principle of seeing anything and everything as your own opportunity to "develop your chess pieces" and establish yourself as the center of the party.
Sumup:
*See ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as an opportunity.
*Original intentions [of commentators] don't matter much - the outcome YOU steer towards does.
*In order to do this, it helps to have a broad knowledge, sense of humor, having read stuff, watched movies, watched stand up comedy, etc.
*After having enough kowledge you will start developing your OWN sense of things (as happenes with almost every skill), and be able to come up with good, witty responses, on the spot.
*This principle applies not only to verbal responses, but to anything, any situation. Always think "how can I use this to MY advantage". You'd be surprised, for example, how some things with girls that people regard as hurdles, are actually yourt opportunities. My fave example: "Where is this [our relationship] going?" Many men don't know how to respond to this question, however, some experienced PUA's here, including me, have related about how we used this as an opportunity to go into some variation of a "flow" routine ("I like to meet a girl and see where it's going... don't believe in tags..."), usually to the effect of having the girl go DDB. In my case, this isn't some routine, but really how I feel - I like to meet a girl and see where it leads, I can't know this in advance, romance has many twists and turns, we're two people enjoying each other's company, etc.
Another common example would be the "sudden quiet" you would have when you go on a date, talk with the girl, then you suddenly stop talking and just look at each other. Some people think something is wrong here, that they should quickly look for something to talk about, or some such insecure response. Some people, on the other hand, recognize the tention, and know where to channel it... looking at each other, getting closer, saying something about the eyes... looking at the lips, looking back at her eyes... you see where this is going?