leighyor
05-08-2008, 11:08 AM
by Kezia of PUATraining
A student, the other week, asked my advice on what he should have done in a certain situation, which happened to him the previous night. He went to a club which had a really hot looking woman, with two particular women dancing on the floor doing a “light” lesbian dance routine.
You know the ones, where they aren’t really lesbians, and think its amusing that all the guys will notice them and want them, rather than the other hot girls in the room. Anyway, they kept looking over at him, and gave strong eye contact as they danced provocatively together in the middle of the room,(the student in my opinion is a good looking guy, which is why they were probably giving him eye contact) he said he did not know how to handle the situation, and just left it, with that “what if?” frame of mind for the rest of the night.
I thought this was an interesting challenge and as I relish a challenge I looked in to it and came up with the females perspective of what he should have done and what he should not do.
Firstly I know loads of girls who do this, and why they say they do it and most importantly why they really do it.
These girls are not sex hungry vixens as they usually want you to imagine them to be, they usually are just what is known as an extrovert, they enjoy attention, they enjoy an ego boost and they like to “out do” rivals. The very fact they have seen other woman as rivals shows insecurity, this is the first point I want to address. If any one is insecure then they usually have a need to make themselves feel better, and its very common amongst insecure females to feel validated by male attention. We get it from female validation i.e. another woman saying to us that we have lost weight or our clothes/hair /makeup/looks lovely etc, but sometimes we need it from making a guy feel horny!
So whilst watching this fabulous display of fake lipstick lesbianism, keep that in mind! This might destroy the illusion a bit, but none the less, it will increase your chances of the final outcome, which is actually getting one or both of them at the end of the night (or at least a number)
I asked my student what the other men’s reaction was in the club to this. He told me not much to my surprise, either standing there drooling or trying to jump in and chat to them, about their names and showering them with compliments, a few alpha men were trying to step in and dance with them, only to be cast aside when the girls had got their required ego boost from him.
Being aware of what the majority are doing in any situation is vital; this is where impact comes in to play. You never want to go with the majority in this situation, even if it feels like the only option.
What he should have done
Now he knows the psychology behind why they are doing this, he will not get caught up in “the moment” of it all, he will be standing outside the illusion and observing as a spectator, but unlike the other guys in the room, not a horny one.
Go close to them when they are giving eye contact, but don’t start swaying to the music or sipping your drink excessively, just look at them with an appreciative smile.
Make the initial interaction when the songs changes, this always gives the dancer a moment break to adjust to the rhythm. it really is about 4- 10 seconds so act quick, lean in to one of them, and say.
“Thanks” They will look at you quizzically, they might react with “what for” they might not.
Tell them your friend/ex girlfriend what ever you decide called Candy or whatever name you choose (try and pick something a little out of the norm) was/is a dancer at (name a famous strip club) and that these 2 are just as good as her, but whilst she was doing it for hundreds of dollars a night they were doing it for free, and that’s great! So thank you!
This instantly will make them feel a little unworthy as whilst girls are being paid lots of money for this routine, they are standing there doing it for free.
You can also say
“Put a little more effort in to it, make more eye contact with each other rather than the guys, it will seem more real, other than your doing great”
Or
“If I ask the dj to play Ghostbusters will you be able to still be as sexy, that would be cool if you did” (little bit of humour, and a task)
Or
“ I bet when you guys go home you put on your slippers and make a mug of cocoa and watch reruns of Frasier” (humour again an assumption)
Or
“ Do you think if I did a fake gay dance with another guy it would make more impact, I bet it would? No offence but 2 guys dancing together in a straight club would be more shocking don’t you think?” (This is drawing the conversation to you rather than them, and also again a little bit of humour)
If your feeling really alpha, then step in between both and take over, by dancing with one and talking to the other over your shoulder, and telling her she should dance more like this, (do your moves) then remove yourself, and lead the other girl back to position, and fold your arms and say “now try again like that” (with a smile on your face)
All these will make you stand out from the other guys who are saying
“Oh wow you girls look hot’”
“ So…hey…whats your name?”
Or the ones, who try to join in by simply swaying behind one of them,
What you would be doing is getting your self right in the middle and ordering them about, and then leaving out of your own accord, not because they pushed you out.
The other openers I gave were all negs; but negs with some constructive criticism, that also leave enough room for them to respond. Note also; that the negatives I gave were not aggressive, (men tend to come across a little aggressive with their negs when sexually aroused but not able to do anything about it). Be cheekier, if possible, rather than rude, this will make you stand out from the crowd, and increase your chances of them wanting to know you a bit more. They know that it will take more to get you turned on, and you will be one of the few, or the only man, in the room they did not get validation from; making them desire your validation more than the other guys.
Remember, you have to act as if you have seen this kind of performance loads of time, try and give them the impression that the girl who wants to be a slut/porn star on the surface is usually, when it comes down to it, quite inhibited. Unlike the quiet/shy ones who usually prove to be a little more, shall we say; experimental in the bedroom?
A student, the other week, asked my advice on what he should have done in a certain situation, which happened to him the previous night. He went to a club which had a really hot looking woman, with two particular women dancing on the floor doing a “light” lesbian dance routine.
You know the ones, where they aren’t really lesbians, and think its amusing that all the guys will notice them and want them, rather than the other hot girls in the room. Anyway, they kept looking over at him, and gave strong eye contact as they danced provocatively together in the middle of the room,(the student in my opinion is a good looking guy, which is why they were probably giving him eye contact) he said he did not know how to handle the situation, and just left it, with that “what if?” frame of mind for the rest of the night.
I thought this was an interesting challenge and as I relish a challenge I looked in to it and came up with the females perspective of what he should have done and what he should not do.
Firstly I know loads of girls who do this, and why they say they do it and most importantly why they really do it.
These girls are not sex hungry vixens as they usually want you to imagine them to be, they usually are just what is known as an extrovert, they enjoy attention, they enjoy an ego boost and they like to “out do” rivals. The very fact they have seen other woman as rivals shows insecurity, this is the first point I want to address. If any one is insecure then they usually have a need to make themselves feel better, and its very common amongst insecure females to feel validated by male attention. We get it from female validation i.e. another woman saying to us that we have lost weight or our clothes/hair /makeup/looks lovely etc, but sometimes we need it from making a guy feel horny!
So whilst watching this fabulous display of fake lipstick lesbianism, keep that in mind! This might destroy the illusion a bit, but none the less, it will increase your chances of the final outcome, which is actually getting one or both of them at the end of the night (or at least a number)
I asked my student what the other men’s reaction was in the club to this. He told me not much to my surprise, either standing there drooling or trying to jump in and chat to them, about their names and showering them with compliments, a few alpha men were trying to step in and dance with them, only to be cast aside when the girls had got their required ego boost from him.
Being aware of what the majority are doing in any situation is vital; this is where impact comes in to play. You never want to go with the majority in this situation, even if it feels like the only option.
What he should have done
Now he knows the psychology behind why they are doing this, he will not get caught up in “the moment” of it all, he will be standing outside the illusion and observing as a spectator, but unlike the other guys in the room, not a horny one.
Go close to them when they are giving eye contact, but don’t start swaying to the music or sipping your drink excessively, just look at them with an appreciative smile.
Make the initial interaction when the songs changes, this always gives the dancer a moment break to adjust to the rhythm. it really is about 4- 10 seconds so act quick, lean in to one of them, and say.
“Thanks” They will look at you quizzically, they might react with “what for” they might not.
Tell them your friend/ex girlfriend what ever you decide called Candy or whatever name you choose (try and pick something a little out of the norm) was/is a dancer at (name a famous strip club) and that these 2 are just as good as her, but whilst she was doing it for hundreds of dollars a night they were doing it for free, and that’s great! So thank you!
This instantly will make them feel a little unworthy as whilst girls are being paid lots of money for this routine, they are standing there doing it for free.
You can also say
“Put a little more effort in to it, make more eye contact with each other rather than the guys, it will seem more real, other than your doing great”
Or
“If I ask the dj to play Ghostbusters will you be able to still be as sexy, that would be cool if you did” (little bit of humour, and a task)
Or
“ I bet when you guys go home you put on your slippers and make a mug of cocoa and watch reruns of Frasier” (humour again an assumption)
Or
“ Do you think if I did a fake gay dance with another guy it would make more impact, I bet it would? No offence but 2 guys dancing together in a straight club would be more shocking don’t you think?” (This is drawing the conversation to you rather than them, and also again a little bit of humour)
If your feeling really alpha, then step in between both and take over, by dancing with one and talking to the other over your shoulder, and telling her she should dance more like this, (do your moves) then remove yourself, and lead the other girl back to position, and fold your arms and say “now try again like that” (with a smile on your face)
All these will make you stand out from the other guys who are saying
“Oh wow you girls look hot’”
“ So…hey…whats your name?”
Or the ones, who try to join in by simply swaying behind one of them,
What you would be doing is getting your self right in the middle and ordering them about, and then leaving out of your own accord, not because they pushed you out.
The other openers I gave were all negs; but negs with some constructive criticism, that also leave enough room for them to respond. Note also; that the negatives I gave were not aggressive, (men tend to come across a little aggressive with their negs when sexually aroused but not able to do anything about it). Be cheekier, if possible, rather than rude, this will make you stand out from the crowd, and increase your chances of them wanting to know you a bit more. They know that it will take more to get you turned on, and you will be one of the few, or the only man, in the room they did not get validation from; making them desire your validation more than the other guys.
Remember, you have to act as if you have seen this kind of performance loads of time, try and give them the impression that the girl who wants to be a slut/porn star on the surface is usually, when it comes down to it, quite inhibited. Unlike the quiet/shy ones who usually prove to be a little more, shall we say; experimental in the bedroom?