sueda
07-26-2008, 05:19 AM
Basically a re-iteration, but thought some would find this useful...This is just my notes on the MM book (some own interpretation, but mainly reiteration)...
1. Seven Hours – Shows you’ll Stick around more.
2. “Implanted a Chip in My brain” – Convey’s your willingness to stay around.
a. Simple. Convey that she’s “hijacked my brain”, that “I can’t believe this. I just met you, but I feel so strongly connected with you!”
3. “We Should Stop” – When she says stop
a. When she says we should stop and A conveys that reluctance don’t object, AGREE! Change with change, flow, don’t resist, say, “Oh, I know, we shouldn’t be doing this. Yeah, and we shouldn’t do this…” (and lick her stomach or something and finger her saying “I really shouldn’t be doing this!”). Say “We SHOULD stop, but it feels so good and quality!” This is just token resistance not her actual feelings (the dna resistance) so it’s okay to exploit this.
4. Freeze Out – Acquiesce, “I understand.”
a. Whatever you do. Think “No biggy”. Do NOT get exacerbated nor get mad do not get pouty. Be totally cool about it and say the magic words, “I understand” then totally de-activate; appear to have lost all horniness and sex drive. And then do (take time):
i. Chess
ii. Check the fridge
iii. Check email
iv. Watch TV – normal convo, etc.
b. This overcomes DNA LMR and “proves” you’ll stick around!
c. You basically act “gay” or like a eunich for about 5-15 minutes.
d. Same thing as in kino-escalation where she gets uncomfortable and you turn off and cool off. An S2 freeze out is total acquiescence. She says we should stop and gets uncomfortable, so you flip on the lights, say “Great, okay”, then go check your email! She’ll WANT it. She’ll want sex bad because it’s like she wants half a cookie (foreplay) and LOVES that, but doesn’t want the whole cookie (sex), and then you take away even the half cookie option, so she’ll get then almost certainly get back interested!
e. WARNING: She must not have a person to talk to during the freeze out, or else it won’t work. She has to be frozen out, isolated, so she then comes back to you. (The repeate A1-A2).
5. Riker’s 3 Rules
a. Always Use Condom
b. Win-Win (fun for us both).
c. Want to likely Repeat (Sexual Relationship)
After thoughts. I think the 5 anti-lmr tools should be in that order. 7 Rules, after all is the base. You can suggest the brain implact (mental hijacking thing) way before S phases, too. Then we should stop, and you can pepper in freeze outs wherever, finally, I think Riker's 3 rules should only be used last. I mean if you have to talk about condom, win-win, and seeing each other again, you almost sound like a freaked out parent, you know. I think that one should be avoided, unless you specifically think it will create necessary emotional reassurance. You obviously don't want to sound like a "warden" with three rules though!
Great stuff because the jargon isn't a complicator -- but actually simplifies things that frequently occur, placing them in a easily-communicated frame.
==================================================
The 6 Kinds of LMR and how to Overcome them
I've decided to group the various kinds of LMR I’ve encountered into 6 different categories, and give strategies to overcome them. Additional comments/strategies are welcome.
Here they are:
LMR #1: She Hardly Knows You
This is the most common form of LMR, and it occurs on almost all one night stands. The girl likes you and wants to hook up, but ultimately doesn’t know you very well and has concerns – are you just using her for sex? Will you think she’s a slut? Do you have any STD’s? This form of LMR is totally natural, and is built into each girl from a young age. It can happen at any point during the hookup – from you kissing her, to you touching her breasts, to you to trying to take her pants off. This form of LMR can be penetrated. The girl likes you and will have sex with you, but only if she knows there will be no repercussions afterward and she won’t feel bad about herself.
There are 2 strategies to combat this form of LMR:
1) Strategy to Overcome: Agree with Her in an Honest Manner
Difficulty Level: Easy
Her: “Oh my god, this is so bad, we hardly know each other.”
You: “You’re right, this is bad. We do hardly know each other and we should stop.”
Agreeing with her that you shouldn’t have sex sounds like a risky proposition; you are confirming that her doubts are indeed valid, so what’s to prevent her from just ending the hookup there? Fortunately, it doesn’t work that way. By agreeing with her, you’re showing her that you’re not all about sex, which means that you aren’t using her for sex, which means that you won’t think less of her for having sex with you this soon. On a subconscious level it might even go further, that because you’re not all about sex, you probably haven’t had that much sex, which means you are clean (STD-free). This might explain why girls don’t always require condoms, even after giving a guy LMR for the very reason that he might not be clean.
2) Strategy to Overcome: Agree with Her in a Joking Manner
Difficulty Level: Easy
Her: “Oh my god, this is so bad, we hardly know each other.”
You: “I agree, we should, so I’m going to stop unhooking your bra with my teeth.”
By agreeing with her in a joking manner, you are not taking her comments seriously, and by not taking her comments seriously, you’re showing that sex isn’t that big of a deal to you. A guy who instead rationally argues for why a woman’s LMR is unfounded is showing that he cares about sex, and thus might be using her for sex.
The first method is about neutralizing her LMR, while the second method is about being non-reactive. What the two methods have in common is that they both show (in indirect ways) that you are not all about sex, which is the root cause of LMR. Which one you choose doesn’t matter. If one doesn’t work then switch to the other. If using them both doesn’t work then do a freeze out, but make sure to never show any annoyance. If the freeze out doesn’t work then go to sleep and try again in the morning.
LMR #2: She does Push/Pull on You
This is never-ending LMR; the girl resists your advances one minute, attacks you in a fit of passion the next minute, and then pushes you away a minute later. It’s a continuous cycle, beginning the moment you kiss the girl and continuing up until the moment you climax. You’re constantly moving 2 steps forward and 1 step back, and then the cycle starts over the next time you hook up. These girls are generally very confident and outgoing, and derive more pleasure out of the game aspect of the hookup than they do the actual sex.
There are 3 different strategies to overcome this kind of LMR
1) Strategy to Overcome: Do Push/Pull on Them
Difficulty Level: Fairly Easy
This form of LMR is a direct shit-test that girls consciously attempt. They want to know that you’re manly enough to see through it and not be broken down. The best way to overcome it is to neutralize their push/pull by doing it back to them. When she pulls away, attack her. When she attacks you, pull away. By doing this same thing to her (which probably no guy has in the past), she’ll view you as having equal status to her and she’ll also see you as someone that she does not yet have under her sexual spell. The only way to get control of you is to give you sex and make you come back for more.
2) Strategy to Overcome: Push until the Very End, then do a Freeze Out.
Difficulty Level: Medium
The pushing will progress you slowly towards sex, but then at the very end she will most likely freeze you out and end the hookup. To counter this, you need to freeze her out first. This strategy should also work, but will take much longer and will only break down her resistance in the end, whereas the first strategy completely neutralizes her resistance from the start.
3) Strategy to Overcome: Put the Condom on and Fuck Her
Difficulty Level: Medium
This strategy is controversial for obvious reasons, and not advised. Subconsciously the girl wants you to physically overpower her. Her attacking you is a test to see if you’re strong enough to overpower her, both mentally (by not being phased) and physically (by overpowering her). By physically overpowering her, you prove your strength as an alpha male, and these girls only want to fuck the most alpha of males. Also, being rough is what turns these girls on sexually; kissing does not go as far. By being rough with her, you reach a point where the girl is so turned on that she can’t say no.
LMR #3: She Wants to Know that She's Different
This LMR happens when the girl wants to make sure she’s special to you. This could be because she feels a real connection to you, and thinks it could blossom into a relationship. In this case she doesn’t want to potentially jeopardize something good by sleeping with you. It could also be because she knows you’re a player and doesn’t want to give herself away like all those other girls; she wants to know that she means more.
Strategy to Overcome: none
Difficulty Level: Hard
This LMR is not spontaneous the way the other kinds of LMR are; it is strategically planned ahead of time by the girl. In that sense it isn’t really LMR at all; it’s only included here because you never know when it might occur. This is the kind of LMR that Style got when he told girls he’s a PUA, and even he couldn’t overcome it (not in the short term at least). The good news is that if you continue to have tight game then she’ll definitely have sex with you eventually. In this sense, it’s probably best to just wait until a Day 2 or Day 3.
LMR #4: She’s Prudish
This LMR has little to do with typical anti-slut defense and more to do with her lack of sexual experience and prudish nature. Some girls, no matter how tight your game is, will simply not hook up with you the first night. Because of their lack of sexual experience and introverted personalities, these girls are overly self-conscious and take longer to get out of their comfort zone. A typical HB party girl will rarely fall into this category, as they’ve had enough social interaction and sexual experience that they are comfortable. On the other hand, a young girl that you met in the library might fall into this category. She has fewer guys hitting on her and is still not fully comfortable around the opposite sex.
Strategy to Overcome: Build Deep Rapport and Mix with Kino
Difficulty Level: Hard
Stay in comfort has long as possible with these girls and build a lot of rapport. Go heavy on the routines and cold reads. Go light with kino at first and then slowly build it up. Mix the kino in with your routines; if you touch her when she is having an emotional realization, it will be ingrained in her subconscious and she will feel more comfortable around you. Ultimately, this probably won’t be enough, and she won’t sleep with you for the same reasons that your high school girlfriend made you wait 6 months; she’s just not comfortable getting physical.
One more warning: do not push too hard! If you do too much to bring a girl out of her sexual comfort zone, she’ll be gone forever. It’s your job to heed the warning signs and decide when to shut down and wait for another night.
LMR #5: She Doesn’t Want to Screw Over Her Friend
This LMR occurs when her concerns about a good female friend outweigh her concerns about hooking up with you. It can happen in any of the following instances:
1) You previously dated her close female friend
2) She knows your girlfriend personally
3) She doesn’t want to leave her female friend alone with your creepy roommate
#1 is the most serious kind because the friend will probably find out about it, thus putting their friendship in jeopardy, which matters more to her than you do (at the moment at least). #2 is less serious because the girlfriend is less likely to find out, and #3 is the least serious. Note that this form of LMR does NOT include instances where a female friend tells her that you’re an asshole and that she shouldn’t hook up with you. People don’t like to be controlled, and this will mostly likely make her want you more.
Strategy to Overcome: Take Full Responsibility
Difficulty Level: Medium/Easy
If the LMR involves #1 or #2, do not rationally argue that the female friend in question isn’t a big deal, and that she won’t find out. Instead, agree with the girl that what you’re doing is “so bad”, but that it just “happened”, and that if the friend finds out that you’ll take full responsibility.
If the LMR involves #3, then just make sure the friends are as comfortable as possible in the living room. Chat them up before you take your girl in the bedroom. Have them play with your puppy. Once you have your target isolated in your room, then come out of the room to get a drink, ask how the movie is, then go back into your room.
sendpm.gif
1. Seven Hours – Shows you’ll Stick around more.
2. “Implanted a Chip in My brain” – Convey’s your willingness to stay around.
a. Simple. Convey that she’s “hijacked my brain”, that “I can’t believe this. I just met you, but I feel so strongly connected with you!”
3. “We Should Stop” – When she says stop
a. When she says we should stop and A conveys that reluctance don’t object, AGREE! Change with change, flow, don’t resist, say, “Oh, I know, we shouldn’t be doing this. Yeah, and we shouldn’t do this…” (and lick her stomach or something and finger her saying “I really shouldn’t be doing this!”). Say “We SHOULD stop, but it feels so good and quality!” This is just token resistance not her actual feelings (the dna resistance) so it’s okay to exploit this.
4. Freeze Out – Acquiesce, “I understand.”
a. Whatever you do. Think “No biggy”. Do NOT get exacerbated nor get mad do not get pouty. Be totally cool about it and say the magic words, “I understand” then totally de-activate; appear to have lost all horniness and sex drive. And then do (take time):
i. Chess
ii. Check the fridge
iii. Check email
iv. Watch TV – normal convo, etc.
b. This overcomes DNA LMR and “proves” you’ll stick around!
c. You basically act “gay” or like a eunich for about 5-15 minutes.
d. Same thing as in kino-escalation where she gets uncomfortable and you turn off and cool off. An S2 freeze out is total acquiescence. She says we should stop and gets uncomfortable, so you flip on the lights, say “Great, okay”, then go check your email! She’ll WANT it. She’ll want sex bad because it’s like she wants half a cookie (foreplay) and LOVES that, but doesn’t want the whole cookie (sex), and then you take away even the half cookie option, so she’ll get then almost certainly get back interested!
e. WARNING: She must not have a person to talk to during the freeze out, or else it won’t work. She has to be frozen out, isolated, so she then comes back to you. (The repeate A1-A2).
5. Riker’s 3 Rules
a. Always Use Condom
b. Win-Win (fun for us both).
c. Want to likely Repeat (Sexual Relationship)
After thoughts. I think the 5 anti-lmr tools should be in that order. 7 Rules, after all is the base. You can suggest the brain implact (mental hijacking thing) way before S phases, too. Then we should stop, and you can pepper in freeze outs wherever, finally, I think Riker's 3 rules should only be used last. I mean if you have to talk about condom, win-win, and seeing each other again, you almost sound like a freaked out parent, you know. I think that one should be avoided, unless you specifically think it will create necessary emotional reassurance. You obviously don't want to sound like a "warden" with three rules though!
Great stuff because the jargon isn't a complicator -- but actually simplifies things that frequently occur, placing them in a easily-communicated frame.
==================================================
The 6 Kinds of LMR and how to Overcome them
I've decided to group the various kinds of LMR I’ve encountered into 6 different categories, and give strategies to overcome them. Additional comments/strategies are welcome.
Here they are:
LMR #1: She Hardly Knows You
This is the most common form of LMR, and it occurs on almost all one night stands. The girl likes you and wants to hook up, but ultimately doesn’t know you very well and has concerns – are you just using her for sex? Will you think she’s a slut? Do you have any STD’s? This form of LMR is totally natural, and is built into each girl from a young age. It can happen at any point during the hookup – from you kissing her, to you touching her breasts, to you to trying to take her pants off. This form of LMR can be penetrated. The girl likes you and will have sex with you, but only if she knows there will be no repercussions afterward and she won’t feel bad about herself.
There are 2 strategies to combat this form of LMR:
1) Strategy to Overcome: Agree with Her in an Honest Manner
Difficulty Level: Easy
Her: “Oh my god, this is so bad, we hardly know each other.”
You: “You’re right, this is bad. We do hardly know each other and we should stop.”
Agreeing with her that you shouldn’t have sex sounds like a risky proposition; you are confirming that her doubts are indeed valid, so what’s to prevent her from just ending the hookup there? Fortunately, it doesn’t work that way. By agreeing with her, you’re showing her that you’re not all about sex, which means that you aren’t using her for sex, which means that you won’t think less of her for having sex with you this soon. On a subconscious level it might even go further, that because you’re not all about sex, you probably haven’t had that much sex, which means you are clean (STD-free). This might explain why girls don’t always require condoms, even after giving a guy LMR for the very reason that he might not be clean.
2) Strategy to Overcome: Agree with Her in a Joking Manner
Difficulty Level: Easy
Her: “Oh my god, this is so bad, we hardly know each other.”
You: “I agree, we should, so I’m going to stop unhooking your bra with my teeth.”
By agreeing with her in a joking manner, you are not taking her comments seriously, and by not taking her comments seriously, you’re showing that sex isn’t that big of a deal to you. A guy who instead rationally argues for why a woman’s LMR is unfounded is showing that he cares about sex, and thus might be using her for sex.
The first method is about neutralizing her LMR, while the second method is about being non-reactive. What the two methods have in common is that they both show (in indirect ways) that you are not all about sex, which is the root cause of LMR. Which one you choose doesn’t matter. If one doesn’t work then switch to the other. If using them both doesn’t work then do a freeze out, but make sure to never show any annoyance. If the freeze out doesn’t work then go to sleep and try again in the morning.
LMR #2: She does Push/Pull on You
This is never-ending LMR; the girl resists your advances one minute, attacks you in a fit of passion the next minute, and then pushes you away a minute later. It’s a continuous cycle, beginning the moment you kiss the girl and continuing up until the moment you climax. You’re constantly moving 2 steps forward and 1 step back, and then the cycle starts over the next time you hook up. These girls are generally very confident and outgoing, and derive more pleasure out of the game aspect of the hookup than they do the actual sex.
There are 3 different strategies to overcome this kind of LMR
1) Strategy to Overcome: Do Push/Pull on Them
Difficulty Level: Fairly Easy
This form of LMR is a direct shit-test that girls consciously attempt. They want to know that you’re manly enough to see through it and not be broken down. The best way to overcome it is to neutralize their push/pull by doing it back to them. When she pulls away, attack her. When she attacks you, pull away. By doing this same thing to her (which probably no guy has in the past), she’ll view you as having equal status to her and she’ll also see you as someone that she does not yet have under her sexual spell. The only way to get control of you is to give you sex and make you come back for more.
2) Strategy to Overcome: Push until the Very End, then do a Freeze Out.
Difficulty Level: Medium
The pushing will progress you slowly towards sex, but then at the very end she will most likely freeze you out and end the hookup. To counter this, you need to freeze her out first. This strategy should also work, but will take much longer and will only break down her resistance in the end, whereas the first strategy completely neutralizes her resistance from the start.
3) Strategy to Overcome: Put the Condom on and Fuck Her
Difficulty Level: Medium
This strategy is controversial for obvious reasons, and not advised. Subconsciously the girl wants you to physically overpower her. Her attacking you is a test to see if you’re strong enough to overpower her, both mentally (by not being phased) and physically (by overpowering her). By physically overpowering her, you prove your strength as an alpha male, and these girls only want to fuck the most alpha of males. Also, being rough is what turns these girls on sexually; kissing does not go as far. By being rough with her, you reach a point where the girl is so turned on that she can’t say no.
LMR #3: She Wants to Know that She's Different
This LMR happens when the girl wants to make sure she’s special to you. This could be because she feels a real connection to you, and thinks it could blossom into a relationship. In this case she doesn’t want to potentially jeopardize something good by sleeping with you. It could also be because she knows you’re a player and doesn’t want to give herself away like all those other girls; she wants to know that she means more.
Strategy to Overcome: none
Difficulty Level: Hard
This LMR is not spontaneous the way the other kinds of LMR are; it is strategically planned ahead of time by the girl. In that sense it isn’t really LMR at all; it’s only included here because you never know when it might occur. This is the kind of LMR that Style got when he told girls he’s a PUA, and even he couldn’t overcome it (not in the short term at least). The good news is that if you continue to have tight game then she’ll definitely have sex with you eventually. In this sense, it’s probably best to just wait until a Day 2 or Day 3.
LMR #4: She’s Prudish
This LMR has little to do with typical anti-slut defense and more to do with her lack of sexual experience and prudish nature. Some girls, no matter how tight your game is, will simply not hook up with you the first night. Because of their lack of sexual experience and introverted personalities, these girls are overly self-conscious and take longer to get out of their comfort zone. A typical HB party girl will rarely fall into this category, as they’ve had enough social interaction and sexual experience that they are comfortable. On the other hand, a young girl that you met in the library might fall into this category. She has fewer guys hitting on her and is still not fully comfortable around the opposite sex.
Strategy to Overcome: Build Deep Rapport and Mix with Kino
Difficulty Level: Hard
Stay in comfort has long as possible with these girls and build a lot of rapport. Go heavy on the routines and cold reads. Go light with kino at first and then slowly build it up. Mix the kino in with your routines; if you touch her when she is having an emotional realization, it will be ingrained in her subconscious and she will feel more comfortable around you. Ultimately, this probably won’t be enough, and she won’t sleep with you for the same reasons that your high school girlfriend made you wait 6 months; she’s just not comfortable getting physical.
One more warning: do not push too hard! If you do too much to bring a girl out of her sexual comfort zone, she’ll be gone forever. It’s your job to heed the warning signs and decide when to shut down and wait for another night.
LMR #5: She Doesn’t Want to Screw Over Her Friend
This LMR occurs when her concerns about a good female friend outweigh her concerns about hooking up with you. It can happen in any of the following instances:
1) You previously dated her close female friend
2) She knows your girlfriend personally
3) She doesn’t want to leave her female friend alone with your creepy roommate
#1 is the most serious kind because the friend will probably find out about it, thus putting their friendship in jeopardy, which matters more to her than you do (at the moment at least). #2 is less serious because the girlfriend is less likely to find out, and #3 is the least serious. Note that this form of LMR does NOT include instances where a female friend tells her that you’re an asshole and that she shouldn’t hook up with you. People don’t like to be controlled, and this will mostly likely make her want you more.
Strategy to Overcome: Take Full Responsibility
Difficulty Level: Medium/Easy
If the LMR involves #1 or #2, do not rationally argue that the female friend in question isn’t a big deal, and that she won’t find out. Instead, agree with the girl that what you’re doing is “so bad”, but that it just “happened”, and that if the friend finds out that you’ll take full responsibility.
If the LMR involves #3, then just make sure the friends are as comfortable as possible in the living room. Chat them up before you take your girl in the bedroom. Have them play with your puppy. Once you have your target isolated in your room, then come out of the room to get a drink, ask how the movie is, then go back into your room.
sendpm.gif