PDA

View Full Version : Investment vs Interest


Boostin
11-02-2008, 08:16 AM
Investment vs. Interest

A few years ago, I had just discovered the seduction community, and was doing very well for a beginner. I was constantly approaching sets, getting IOIs and even pulling off quite a few numbers.

One HUGE barrier that I experienced, and I'm sure all of you have, was flaking. Lots. Of. Fucking. Flaking.

Which was obviously annoying. I couldn't understand why I had these girls laughing, giggling, and hanging on to my every word, but still flaking. I could tell they were attracted, they were expressing enormous amounts of interest but when I called, tried to set up a Day 2, I'd get the usual bullshit.

"I'm sorry, I'm busy"
"I have lots of work to do recently"
"Sorry but I'm going out with my girlfriends"

Or, even better. They just don't pick up.

I pondered this for ages, and this was my major sticking point for around 6 months. Then I discovered our local community, and had one of the more experienced guys explain Investment vs Interest to me. And I clicked.

You see, when I, and most of the newbies, first started on our adventure to sexual stardom and self actualization, e.g. awesomeness ;) We were excited. We've just read the Mystery Method, or the Game, and we want to test these theories, these lines.

So we (Or the few that have balls enough) turn into approach machines and try out these lines. What did we find?

It FUCKING WORKS! YAY! We jump up in joy. We'd spit these routines out and find that girls were giggling and laughing, and giving us their opinions on stupid sh*t that we really didn't give half a damn about.

We'd barrage them routine after routine, line after line and they ate it up. They were interested. They could listen to us all day long. But how much did they put into the interaction? I want you guys to think back to the last set that flaked. How much did they actually put into the interaction? Yeah sure, they responded, they gave you their opinions on some light hearted funny topic, something fairly useless.

How much true FEELINGS did they put into the interaction?

How much EMOTION?

Did they share with you a secret that they have told no one about?

Did they put effort into the interaction?

Did you share an experience that they could not have with anyone else?

Or were they just giving you really mundane responses to shallow topics? They giggled and laughed at your jokes and banter, but they invested nothing. You were their entertainer.

Making a woman invest into the interaction is much more powerful than getting her showing interest.

If you invest 5 years into a long term relationship that goes nowhere, how hard is it to decide it's time to leave? It's excruciating. Why? Because you don't want all the emotion, the love, the time you've invested into this woman to go to waste.

Well, we can flip that, and have the woman experience a fear of loss. In your next interaction with a woman, try and draw out some investment. If you ask her a question, make her elaborate on her answer, ask her how she FEELS. Dig deep. Make her expose her thoughts/opinions/emotions/vulnerabilities/experiences to you...

Any woman can show interest, they even giggle at the fat, bald, low social value guy in the rarity that he says something amusing. Will they sleep with him? Probably not.

But when women INVEST, they want to PROTECT their investment. They WON you, they had to think of witty lines to keep you interested, they exposed a side of themselves they haven't to anyone else, they talked about their true, deep, feelings.

They fucking deserve you, they put way too much effort into you for you to just leave. They will chase, they will fuck, they will do anything to have you (By the way, this is were jealousy plot lines really have their full effect) . This is much more powerful than focusing solely on keeping them interested. Interest is a temporary mind state. They may be having fun and in a good mood, they may have had a few drinks and feel flirty. When they wake up tomorrow, they will not answer you call.

Often, getting a girl to invest requires investing of your own. Be prepared to, it's not a one way street.

When gauging or calibrating for how solid my set is, or likeliness of flaking, I look for investment, not interest. It doesn't lie.

I realize this is quite long, but this is really an important concept to get down pat, before moving on to more difficult stuff.

Good luck.

-Boostin'.

Dr.Pepper
11-02-2008, 06:27 PM
Good post. I first heard something similar from Juggler. But he doesn't put it as clear in contrast to interest as you do. Something to think about, thanks!

asayake
11-03-2008, 05:46 PM
Great!
Is there any tip or strategy to get her invest?
Thanks.

Boostin
11-04-2008, 03:33 AM
Great!
Is there any tip or strategy to get her invest?
Thanks.

Investment can be anything!

Investment is just her putting in effort. Making her elaborate an answer, making her spend more time with you, playing games that require her to contribute are all minor investments. Not just opening up and connecting on a deeper level, though obviously that is a much larger investment, and will yield much better results.

You sprinkle these minor investments in the interaction while you are running attraction. As you move along the interaction from attraction to comfort, you can make her invest more and more.

Also, a great way to eliminate the LJBF threat, while making her invest, is making her share sex secrets/experiences with you. If you SOI'ed earlier, ran decent attraction game and combine sex talk with her investment of sharing something she usually doesn't, she will not see you as a friend.

Minor investment:

In book store/library:

Me: Hey, could you recommend me a book?
Her: I don't know what.
Me: Hmm, I'm sure you can think of something, what have you read lately? (pushing for elaboration e.g. more effort)
Her: Not much.
Me: Well actually I've read blah blah, I thought it was really mind opening! It really made me... whatever. (Here, I see she wasn't prepared yet, so I invest and give my opinions. Once she sees that I'm a cool, high value guy that has just shared my genuine opinions with her e.g. invest, hopefully she'll do the same.

Larger Investments:

Her: Yeah I'm a dancer, I love it. I dance x dance at x studio every thursdays.
Me: Really?!? That's awesome, not wonder you're so full of energy! Why do you love dancing so much? (pushing for elaboration e.g. more effort)
Her: Giggle giggle, I don't know!
Me: Well there must be a reason why it makes you so happy.
Her: It's...just...fun.
Me: Well I'm a musician, I play the guitar. I absolutely love it because it's my way to escaping reality, it's an emotional outlet for me to be creative and express how I feel, it almost gives me a sense of freedom as when I was younger I had very strict parents and I felt I wasn't able to express myself... blah blah. (Me investing deeply, hopefully she'll invest afterwards)
Her: Yeah I guess I also love the creativity of it, you like expressing how you feel through your music, I guess I like to do it through my body. I love the energy of dance, it's makes me feel.... blah blah.

Hopefully this gives you an idea.

Nargaroth
11-09-2008, 07:29 AM
Good stuff, Boostin! Respect!

will8371
12-11-2008, 02:33 AM
i was the same, but then i listened to Carlos xumas 'alpha conversation and persuasion' (its on here, search for it)and the amount of info that i learnt was amazing. it basically gives you 'lists'( of emotions, mind states etc..) of how to be a conversational player- how to interact so you don't need to give anything more than 20-30% but still hold mastery overall (i think it was ,confidence, empathy, understanding, and a couple of others-check it out to find the rest). well worth listening to (its quite long, but you do learn a lot from it.) there was another great tip i learnt from (david wyngant i think), was that when you cocky funny/ comedy a girl, say it deadpan; ie don't laugh yourself. that way you dhv and she will notice it in a major way. say it and turn away, then turn back and lift up a corner of you r lip as if to say, ' yeah you like that baby- you must be simple, thats my normal chitterchatter'. by the way- my alltime favourite neg: which you do , ONLY once you have the opp. to close is ' so how old are you? you look about...(however old she looks, reduce it by 5 years ((as long as she is over 25 looking)) 20. she'll give you some crap thanking you for the compliment etc... or she will tell you straightoff. as soon as she tells you her age- 'yeah, i should have known actually coz i can see your crows feet...' oof..she'll call you a cheeky fucker etc.. but she's yours because no one else has ever told her that..you are the man for cocky joking her up. (deadpan it for a bit then laugh with her , works every time). (don't know if crows feet are the same in the U.S but here in england they are the age lines around a chicks eyes_):D

mercure
12-15-2008, 09:23 PM
Great post Boostin.

People will stick to their behaviour rather than what they think. For example, if you wait 10 mins at the bus stop, you are less likely to take taxi than if you waited 2 mins. You will feel that you invested too much into waiting to change your mind now. In humans, behaviour > thought.